Regret

     Do you ever feel like if you would have done something differently that things could have turned out

differently. For the past year I have lived every single day with just a little bit of regret in my life. I am

regretful that I didn't talk to Jason more and that we weren't closer than we were. I am regretful that I told

Gram that I couldn't stay with her while Dale was gone because I was too busy. I regret not going out to my

grandparents more often even though I knew that my grandpa was in poor health. This time of year is so hard

for me and I realized that one needs to cherish everything that one has. There are so many things that I miss

about the loved ones that I have lost in the past year. Jason's humor, Grams endless love, and oddly enough,

Grandpas bitching. I would give anything to hear him bitch at someone and then I walk in the door and he

treats me like his little baby girl. But in the end you shouldn't think about what you should have done, you

need to remember the things that did happen and the memories that you have with the loved ones that you

lost. <3

Missing You

    Jason was a very dear friend of mine. He had his ups and his downs but he always knew how to make everyone laugh. He had a one of a kind personality and a one of a kind love for everyone. I can't even describe to you how I felt about him. I went to school with him since kindergarten and was heartbroken when I found out that he had taken his own life. Some people say that he wasn't sent to heaven because of what he did but if you knew Jason, you knew that he loved God and worshiped him. Yes, it was a sin, but God forgives us for our sins. It is hard to believe that he won't be here for our 10 year reunion or any of his friends weddings. Or any of the other milestones that we will all face as adults. Jason, I want you to know that you are truly a loved person and I don't know of a single soul that will forget that rotten smile of yours. We all miss you bud! I hope you start making some more visits to us because I am really starting to miss you! 

Pete Puppy

    The dog in this photo was my dog Pete. He was the best dog anyone could ask for. He may have been rotten but he was the biggest teddy bear I have ever seen. There are so many memories of him that I can't even list them but my favorite thing about him was that he was a bed hog. I know it's weird that I liked that but he made me feel safe. My bed was up against the wall but there was just enough of a gab that I could fit my body in the gab. Pete would get in bed with me and I would lay in the crack and have my head, one arm, and one leg on the bed. When I was in 6th grade my dad woke me up to tell me that Pete had been hit by a car. At this time he was either 15 or 16 years old and too old to be able to fix any broken bones. I went to school that day but knew in my gut that something wasn't right so I went to the office and told them that I had gotten sick even though I didn't. Mom came to pick me up and I cried the whole way home. Pete had broken his back leg so he couldn't walk and mom had to put a towel under his stomach to help him walk. The whole day, he only wanted to be on MY bed. Finally dad got home from work and they took him to the vet to get things looked at. Pete didn't come back home. I miss Pete so much and ever since him, no pet has slept with me. Pete was so special to me.